I'M OK

As a University student, I have devoted great time and energy to my studies in Literature and Art/Design. As an artist, I seek to make beautiful things, and as a critic and lover of literature, I prefer to read works that speak to the simple truths in life. I have so appreciated the learning process; however, as I have grown year-by year in my studies, I realize all too often that I am surrounded by intellectual people who have lost the ability to approach life with a childlike simplicity. No longer can we look at beautiful things without stripping them of their simple merit.

I remember when I returned home to Seattle for the summer of 2008, after an intense semester in Indiana—full of criticism, philosophical banter, theories, arguments, etc. over intellectual matters. I wanted to have some quiet time, so I went out for a walk through my neighborhood at dusk. I have always loved the sunsets on the coast in the Northwest—over the Olympic Mountains, Whidbey Island, and the Puget Sound. But on this particular occasion, I could not even rest my mind long enough to sit and drink in the beauty of the created world as I once had. Instead, I analyzed every movement, every shadow, every ray, every step. Each color had meaning; each ripple in the water carried significance. It was then that I vowed to never let myself lose my appreciation for beauty again.

There was a sure reason that Jesus loved the children during His stay on earth; they were simple. They were teachable. They did not need to have all the answers, as the Pharisees did. They could sit, wide-eyed, and just soak in the beauty of nature or appreciate time spent with friends. The how’s, why’s, when’s, and what’s (though often helpful in our understanding) are mostly irrelevant to children. Certainly, personal growth is essential to our development as people; however, we can also cling tightly to our ability to appreciate beautiful and moving things and still be quite OK.

There are many references in this song that were drawn directly from my experiences in certain college classrooms/studios. If you have specific questions regarding these references, feel free to ask me.

Anna Long

VULTURES

I clearly remember sitting in the car at dusk in Indiana, about 100 yards from Park Place Church, which boasts a beautifully tall steeple. This particular night, the sky turned a fiery orange hue, and the dark silhouette of the church steeple in front of this brilliant explosion in the sky became a powerful image that is still burned in my mind. But, what is more powerful about this image, is what I saw next…as I sat, marveling at the beauty, a swarm of large vultures began circling the Church steeple. How ironic! Birds that are usually sure indicators of recent death were hovering over a place that is suppose to not be a place of death, but of LIFE!!!

Growing up in a pastor’s home, we have had the rare privilege of seeing the Church in its most honest forms—its beauty & its brokenness. While we have seen the Power of the Lord displayed in amazing ways in the Church community, we have also witnessed quarrels, dramas, gossip, slander, and coldness. It is unfortunate that the Church is looking more and more like the neighborhood Wal-Mart. People go in to get something specific for themselves, perhaps pushing people aside to find it, and then leave unaffected with their heads down. Sure, there may be a few friendly greeters at the doors or a rare conversation in the check-out line or down an aisle, but does the Church really look that much different than the world? Do we still have joy? Do we act like we really have found the answer to the world’s brokenness? Or have we grown cold and calloused to the things of the Lord?

This song calls into question these things, and it begs that the Lord—through the great POWER of Jesus’ death and resurrected life—would awaken us to be the people He so desperately wants us to be. If it is true that the same power that conquered the grave lives in us, then that is reason enough to look a little different than the world that still aches from ‘decaying bones’…for we have died to our old selves and the risen Lord lives within us. No vulture would hover around something that is alive and well!

Anna Long

SHEAVES

Save from the countless melodies I wrote all the way through childhood, this song is one of my firsts (and it is the only song I have written that is taken straight from the scriptures).

 After moving from the east coast of Florida to the north side of Seattle in the middle of very painful circumstances, Ally and I found ourselves in a new pretentious school, a new church, and a very different culture. We were two broken, weary, and lonely high-schoolers trying to heal from the wounds that had cut very deep. During this time, I came across this verse in Psalms: 

“Those who go out weeping, carrying seeds to sow, will return carrying sheaves with them, singing songs of joy.”

During the many nights that Ally and I cried ourselves to sleep during this time, we clung to the promise that some day we would reap the harvest of our tears. We now know that the Lord saw each tear and sowed them in His safe-keeping. Still, we spent years trying to heal from the hurts our family experienced. As our tears finally dried up and our wounds turned into healed marks that we will bear for the rest of our lives, we began to watch as the Lord led us on a path of redemption. Little did we know that He would use literal songs of joy to fulfill His promise. We began singing and telling our story through song, and now, years later, we still sing this song that I wrote alone on my bedroom floor as a 16 year-old. The Lord has led us all over the country and even the world—to women’s retreats, recovery groups, homes for individuals with eating disorders, gatherings for missionaries, youth conventions, African huts—clearing a path before us so that we can sing the songs of joy He once promised us. And because of the redemption we have known, we can now encourage the hearts of those weary ones who now carry their own seeds to sow.

Anna Long

HAUNTING

Because we are formed in the likeness of a God who reigns uncontested in His creativity and imagination, of course we, as humans, are also going to dream big! We ARE dreamers, and I too confess to being one among many.  

From the time I was a little girl, I imagined what it would be like to be the princess in the fairy tales…that someday I would be the paramedic to save lives…that one day I would meet my prince charming. What a magnificent gift our imagination can be! But, all too often I get caught up in the fabrications of my own plans—always trying to take matters into my own hands. I so easily allow my dreams to dictate my day-to-day life; I am content when all is as desired, but I fall apart when my dreams and plans are threatened. In a world that loves to jostle our lives, particularly the hopes and dreams we hold in the deepest places of our heart, I often find myself calling out, "Save me! Save me!" It is in these moments that I hear the gentle whisper of my Creator saying, "the plans in your heart are many, but remember it is my purpose that prevails."  This song continues to be a reminder that, while the Lord has put dreams inside of us, His ultimate desire is that we would not feel the need to write our own stories. Rather, He desires us to attune our hearing to His soft words, for He IS the ultimate Visionary of our unfolding story.

Ally Long

CONTAGIOUS

Over the past few years, I have often found myself praying for awakening…for my eyes to be opened to the brokenness around me…for my heart to be stirred and shaken. Of course, the Lord answered these prayers and set me on a path that lit a fire in my heart to live with passion and intentional obedience. The ironic thing is that this fire was lit not because of witnessing passion and life in the world; rather, it was lit because my eyes were opened to the brokenness in the world: discontentment, apathy, coldness, hopelessness. There are so many who have settled into routine lives, monotonous jobs, and ongoing addictions. While walking around public places, I so often am met with broken and discouraged eyes. But, every fiber of my being wants to scream out: “Wake up! Wake up! Don’t give in! Keep fighting! Keep Breathing!” At first, I was overwhelmed by these things, but through conversations and travels that have led me across oceans, across continent, and sometimes just across the hall, I began to see the world a little more like Jesus does—with a broken yet hopeful heart.

As the Lord walked me through the process of opening my eyes to the world, I began to feel as if I was all alone in my efforts to fight for Life and to refuse to give in to the hopelessness that has so heavily covers our world! I felt…quarantined among the dead. But looking different—having joy in the middle of an aching, hope in the middle of desperation, life in the middle of the walking dead—is a lonely endeavor. And, time and time again, I fail. I let my fear win and I shrink back into my hole of safety. I let my loneliness win and I become what the world wants me to be in order to find company and comfort. But, occasionally I catch glimpses of the work of the Kingdom. I see one person awaken and begin to breathe again and live passionately, and then I see others captivated by the unusual breathing…and then they begin to breathe in the midst of a world that has lost its breath…and then more and more people begin to awaken! It really is contagious. These moments are what encourage my own heart to keep pressing on and never give up.

 

Anna Long

TONIGHT

This song was inspired by a melody I had in my mind for many weeks, and eventually it evolved into a duet. I have written several songs (that happen to not have made it onto the album—i.e. The Curtain, Whispers) that explore the idea of the frustrating silence we so often get from God. In other songs, I looked at my own part in that silence. In this one, I wanted to bring life to the dialogue between God and man rather than just talk about it. So I wrote it in such a way that one voice lyrically represents that of God and the other voice lyrically represents that of man. Simply, it is a conversation.

I think that I am so fascinated by this idea of the voice of God because I hear so often about people’s frustrations with NOT hearing it. However, I am so convinced that it is not at all about whether or not God is speaking but it IS about whether or not we are listening. As I examined my own heart, I realized that usually one of two things happen in regards to dialoguing with God.

1. I get myself so disgustingly busy with life that I drown out His voice, give Him no time in my schedule, and then complain that He is not speaking to me.

2. I humble myself before Him, ask Him to speak, and He does! But, naturally, obedience to an invisible God scares me because it often costs something, so I choose to ignore His voice altogether…and then complain again that He is not speaking to me.

While other songs of mine explore the first response, Tonight looks at the second one. This idea of surrender. I am not very good at it. In fact, I love the words of Oswald Chambers that point to the idea of daily surrender; it is a constant endeavor. And, as Paul says, most of the time I WANT to give up the rights to myself, and I do give up some of them. But, as soon as it really costs something, I clinch my fist and claim what is mine, for I won’t give in that easily. Thankfully, I serve a patient God who is good at constantly calling me to Him…constantly singing over me. Now, it is my turn to show up and say, “Here I am”.

Anna Long

KEEP BREATHING/ WE ARE FREE

These two songs were written together for a similar purpose: A Celebration of Freedom! The lyrical structure of the songs outlines the road from enslavement and captivity to Freedom and Redemption! In so many ways, this song has been our anthem.

This was one of the few songs on which I sort of stumbled. While in Nashville in August of 2008, I heard a message that challenged me to find freedom, specifically from anger. The pastor was a powerful communicator, and still to this day, I recall him speaking about how the love of God has the ability to cripple even the strongest of persons. I latched hard onto this thought…a love that can cripple the strong man. The Lord does not offer a hand of condemnation or shame upon us, nor does He want to drag us into freedom. Instead, through His crippling Love, He beckons us.

I did very little with this thought for a few months, save allowing it to roll around in my mind occasionally; however, I began working on a large collection of music in the Fall of 2008, and I realized that I was in a need of the finale. The big ending. The climax of my story. Somehow, this idea of Freedom seemed to fit. So, I began writing in faith. I dug deep and gathered not stories, but personal truths—things I know to be true about the God I serve and about the Life of those who serve Him. Things like the reality of fear and its ability to hold us captive. Like the very real presence of an enemy of my soul who is quite good at what he does. Also, like the unrelenting hand of God that fights on my behalf. Like the God who offers Freedom to those who desire and claim it.

            It took a month or so for the songs to come together in their entirety, but the truth is that these songs continue to grow and change. Each time we play them it seems as if certain truths I included in the song in faith began to intertwine with our own stories. Perhaps the most powerful illustration of this occurred when we got the opportunity to do a short-term tour in the Spring of 2009. This tour took us back to our childhood hometown on the East coast of Florida where we spent 11 years. The circumstances in which we left this place and relocated to the Seattle area were very painful, and I ended up channeling some of my pain into anger towards a few individuals who I had deemed responsible for it. But, God, in all His humor, cleared a path to return to the very place that I swore I would never return and come face to face with the ones I harbored such anger towards. As I prepared for our nights of music in our old hometown, the words of these songs pierced deep: I am FREE ‘cause of love that brings coolness to anger. And, as we shared that night and worshipped with the ones from my past, the Lord set me free once and for all from the pain and the anger that had haunted me for so long.

            These songs are special, for I feel as if they are constantly evolving…as if they are constantly being rewritten. Though the words remain the same, the freedom and the way the Lord chooses to bring that freedom to us looks different each day.

 

Anna Long